I don’t have a Friday Featured Poet for this Friday, but I do have an awesome one coming up! I don’t want to give away too much but he’s an actual haiku poet and he hails from “across the pond.” And he’s going to be seen live on the web as part of the Fourth Plinth project!
But for now, how about some Friday frivolity? I thought it would be silly to write a poem about butter. There are three things people in America are addicted to: bacon, cheese, and butter. And sometimes we cook things with all three! Why is it that most food jokes involve bacon, cheese, or butter? Stand-up comic Jim Gaffigan loves to eat bacon in bed. Lounge singer Richard Cheese brings cheesy to a whole new level. And Homestar Runner’s the King of Town likes to eat whole sticks of butter. If you search for “stick of butter” on YouTube, you’ll find a bunch of people eating a whole stick of butter. What’s the appeal? What makes butter so seductive?!
I have to shamefully admit, I have thought of eating a stick of butter. But then I come to my senses. Ew!
Butter is one of the most evil things on the planet because it tastes so good, but only produces the misery of zits! have you ever noticed that? One giant cookie from a bakery gives you one giant zit. You know you shouldn't eat a lot of butter, but you do it anyway - even though you KNOW you will get a zit. Such is the power of butter, grasshoppers. Think on that and comment in haiku, won't you?
Shiny yellow stick
Tempts me to grease baking pans
And make some cookies
You slick tube of fat!
Making cookies so tasty,
But you are evil!
Because you make me do things…
I ate ALL … alone.