Friday, June 19, 2009

Friday Featured Poet: Kender MacGowan

Yay for Craigslist! We have a real author joining us today. Kender MacGowan is “a poet, comedy writer, improv artist and storyteller. I have three books in the wings and one published, write for several websites and spend much of my time holding debates with myself about pulpy vs. non pulpy OJ.”

Kender’s achingly raw book, Shattered Ashen Heart is available at

It’s a roller coaster ride of punches to the gut and not for the faint-hearted. If you’ve ever survived a nasty heartbreak, you’ll totally relate to his pain. Although, you wouldn’t think he was so romantic and heartbroken after reading what he submitted for our Provocative Haiku pleasure! So many favorites – I put them in bold! Please comment on your favorites, too!


Insomniac wine
Produces twisted thinking
Childhood is lost

Fear not peruser
Fiction of the mind is here
Big Bird is still pure

Elmo screams aloud
But his pleas fall on deaf ears
Bert and Ernie laugh

Floor creaks in the night
Big Bird heaves a lustful sigh
Elmo screams again

Big Bird loads his gun
Dropping ratings threaten job
Teletubbies die

Teletubbies drop
Like flies in a mist of Raid
Big Bird must reload

Soft moans in the night
Signal Muppets on the prowl
Oscar looks for love

Big Birds young groupies
Defile the letter A
When the tapings done

Barney runs like hell
Big Birds on the prowl again
Looking for fresh meat

Kermit makes breakfast
Bacon and ham and sausage
Miss Piggy tastes good

Mickey and Minnie
Dance and trip the night away
XTC is king

Territory marked
He's just doing his duty
Pluto wanders on

Jiminy Cricket
Sat upon the bank singing
Until the frog ate

Mickey and Goofy
In a compromising way
The tabloids say

Buzz and Woody sit
At the gate of The Kingdom
Checking out the girls

There is nothing like
A six-dollar hamburger
To piss you off good

Popcorn on Main Street
Sticks between my teeth and now
I'm thirsty for Coke

Three-dollar sodas
Are made with too much syrup
Now I need water

I have been in line
Waiting for this got danged ride
Forever it seems

The Tiki Room song
Plays in my head forever
I will go insane

It’s a small small world
Instead of tiki room song
I must kill myself

Mowgli and Snow White
Well you know how nature is
She's not so white now

The dwarves are angry
Mowgli is trying to hide
In the pirates ride

I so enjoy
The chocolate covered ants
Oops I just ate Flick

The Toon Town Trolley
The late night debauchery
You get the picture

Dopey elected
President of The U.S.
I am not joking


We have some extra bonus material from Kender which inspired me to write some haiku. Come back next week for more poetry, and buy his book! It's an awesome read.

Upcoming Friday Featured Poets:
-- June 26: Scott Raven, a bonafide performing poet!
-- July 3: crackberry addict Charles Antin and his poet sidekick Michael Moser, plus a write up on Susanna Speier and her Politiku website



kender said...

Thanks you Alison. I am glad we met.

GM Roper said...

I've known Kender almost from the day I started blogging. He was a work of art then, and remains so to this day. Way to go Kender,

Your fan, GM!

Kim Northrop said...

Big Birds young groupies
Defile the letter A
When the tapings done

Bahahhahaha! Oh man. These are excellent!

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