Friday, May 22, 2009

Date Night


Is there anything worse than dating?! That giddy, awkward first date can sometimes turn into a fiasco. They say all the freaks come out at night here in Manhattan, and I have to agree (although there are plenty of strange things to be seen during the day). The weirdest first dates I've had were in New York City.

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When someone offers
you a breath mint, there’s a
good reason for it.

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A fortune spent on
wardrobe, for naught! because your
hair is frizzy gross!

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"Bringing sexy back,"
my blind date thinks he’s so hot.
Oh, hellz no, you’re not!

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The weirdest first date I had was with a guy who actually told me on our first date that if I, and I'm quoting, "wanted him to dress up like Stalin in the bedroom, he was all for that, or any other kinky thing I was in to." Ewwwww.....yeah, that's too much information. Suffice it to say, we did not have a second date. These next ones are "inspired" by him and crazy first dates of my friends.

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Blind date small talk turns
bad quickly when he asks you
if you "like it rough."

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He likes toe sucking -
it's too much information!
When will the night end?

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She has nineteen kids -
it's too much information!
When will the night end?

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He wears pantyhose -
it's too much information!
When will the night end?

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She uses sex toys -
it's too much information!
When will the night end?

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Now you write one! All you need is 5 syllables to fill in the first line. Think of your worst dating experience - first dates are always ripe for material. Then go to my Zazzle store and make it into a greeting card! Send it to your single friend who can surely relate. I hope you'll post it in my comments section first! Here's your format:

(your line here)
it's too much information!
when will the night end?

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Have a very Happy Memorial Day weekend! and if you're single, I hope you enjoy some nice dates...ones without too much information...

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2 comments:

Kim Northrop said...

Bahhahahaha.

Blind date small talk turns
bad quickly when he asks you
if you "like it rough."

Oh man. So glad I'm married.

joker said...

I like the mention of toe sucking. I want to suck on a cute girl's toes.

 
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