I have decided to disclose my lifelong, eternal struggle - one that is very embarrassing and has turned into an epic battle royale that very nearly consumes my life. Yes, I'm talking about...my stupid big toe nail! AHRRRGGG! So many socks have died... thin ones, thick ones, cheap ones, expensive ones... shot down in the prime of their life... sacrificed so young... if they only had some small chance of hope! Then I might not have a sock drawer filled with unmatched "onsies."
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Stupid big toe nail!
Always poking holes in socks!
Why can’t you be tamed?
Happy Bunny socks
not so funny anymore.
Bunny laughs at me.
Big toe laughs at me!
I trim and file daily, but -
You will not submit.
Another ruined,
And the sock budget goes up.
The cost annoys me!
And I’m embarrassed,
anxious of removing shoes
to find a surprise.
Stupid big toe nail!
I’ll have the last laugh when the
Doctor pulls you out!
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And lest you think I'm joking with these haikus, I have seriously considered having my big toe nails removed, because I'm tired of all the brand new socks I have - with holes - from my stupid big toe nail! In the meantime, I think I found a store just for people like me:
www.littlemissmatched.com
And if you live in the NYC area, you can get a free "triplet" pair of socks. Just go to:
www.lostmysock.com
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