Fortune Tellers

There's not too many left around, but every once in a while, you see a fortune telling machine. You know the ones - they have a creepy robotic head and for spare change they give you a fortune. Here's a picture of me and Zelda - we found her in St. Augustine, Florida. Zoltar was found right here in Manhattan! He was inside the South Street Seaport Mall.













As a kid, these grotesque characters used to spook me because they looked like they were possessed by voodoo! What secrets did they know?! I came up with the idea to write a haiku about people asking their questions to these fortune telling machines - really desperate or shocking questions. Or even better, questions that deep down the asker probably already knows the answer to - or maybe the answer is obvious to others. Here's a few attempts:

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Zoltar sees, knows all -
I wonder if he knows who
stole my office lunch.

*

She asks Zelda – “Help!”
“Is my boyfriend a cheater?”
We know, but can’t tell.

*

Zelda, sweet Zelda
My headhunter was laid off -
Can you find a job?

*

Zoltar, do you know
if the waiter spit in my
dish? It tasted weird.

*

Zoltar, do you know
if that was mud or dog shit?
My shoe smells funny.

*

Zoltar, do you know?
Whole office knows boss having
Affair. Does the wife?

*

Zoltar, do you know?
Did husband find out about
My gambling problem?

*

Zoltar, do you know?
If my kids drank my Maker’s
Mark and smoked my weed?

*

I'd love to do a whole series about "Zoltar, do you know?" Write one about Zelda or Zoltar now and post it here! I'd love to see what disturbing things you can come up with.