Saturday, January 1, 2011

Stupid Times Square!

Happy New Year to all my Poet Pirates! Did you make any resolutions? I did, and I'm afraid it's not a nice one. I resolve to be an Angrier Poet! There's so much stupidity in the world, and I really need to get my act together and comment on it more often.

Case in point: the recent blizzard which crippled New York City. Yes, crippled. I am stunned. Most cities on the east coast have excellent snow removal. If you've listened to the news at all this past week, you could hear the whining, griping, and spoiled bellyaching of New Yorkers everywhere blaming the lack of snow removal on Mayor Bloomberg and the Dept. of Sanitation. I can attest that only major streets were cleared while the rest of us had to fend for ourselves in the residential areas. Somebody didn't think this one through because plenty of buses have to travel through semi-residential parts of Brooklyn and Queens. Then there were plenty of doofuses in compact cars and improper tires who thought they could drive through 16-20 inches of snow. The result was abandoned cars blocking secondary streets. Helloooooooo? Now the plow trucks that you desperately want to come can't plow through there.

Turn in your license!
Four cylinder no match for
snow, stupid "driver"!


The TV news had a field day, every day, interviewing people about train and subway problems, buried streets, people missing work. And, HORRORS! Having to, gasp, PAY someone to plow their driveway or neighborhood street. What has this world come to when you have to pay someone to plow your street?! I'm from New Jersey where we always had to pay someone to plow our driveway. New Yorkers, you haven't got a clue about how the world works. We saw the same kind of whining when a tornado ripped through Flushing and Brooklyn, leaving trees all over the roads. Everyone complained about the city not doing anything about it. Hey, here's an idea - if a tree falls in YOUR yard, why don't YOU take care of it?

complain but not act
criticize but don't improve
problem partly you

New York, take note: Snow is an act of Nature, not an act of Mayor Bloomberg! Deal with it!

when in snow, wear boots
leave the Jimmy Choo at home
get a clue, ladies!

You want to see a REAL snow problem? Check these out:

man-made snow mountains
bury cars and streets. Shovel!
you must, for freedom!


The real blizzard problem had to do with the conspiracy of tourism. You see, Mayor Bloomberg knew he had to clean up Times Square in time for New Year's Eve. And so Manhattan streets were plowed and plowed again to make sure everything was tidy for the tourists coming to Manhattan, the light of the world, this is as good as it gets, behold Gotham City's best annual party. A Facebook friend of mine said it best: "Anyone seen New Year's celebrations elsewhere around the world? We got some Micky Mouse bullshit going on in the 'capital of the world.' A giant, lit and mirrored, slow-ass tether ball? For fuck's sake NYC, get your shit together!!!"

with nowhere to run
you celebrate with champagne
and adult diapers


Yes, I truly believe that the snow was cleaned up in Manhattan for New Year's Eve. Think about it: every year Times Square is crowded with prison-like security which keeps people from entering or leaving from 3pm until midnight. Think of all the trash (and dare I say, excrement) that is left behind, on top of all the tons of confetti dropped on the people. It takes the Dept. of Sanitation HOURS to clean up this mess and millions of dollars. Taxpayers pay for this. Thanks for shitting and vomiting on me, tourists.

vomit and trash from
tourists who do not live here
I pay for clean up


This is a just a taste of what is to come this year. More and more I will take my inspiration from current events and vent on this blog.


Winter thaw, walking
to avoid frozen dog poo
melting, silent bombs


Hey, you ever wonder where the comments went? Most people put them on my Facebook page. I invite you to join in the fun! Click here and send me a friend request.

Happy freakin' New Year!


Chris Peralta said...

fuck mayor bloomberg
plows a-plowing, my black ass
third term? fuck yourself

Adult Diapers said...

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